photo by Kaymoshusband
Just got one of Michael Webs weekly mails and thought it is worth sharing this one with you.It focuses on 3 Big F's which Should not be lacking in any relationship (Fighting, Forgiving and Forgetting).So if your relationship is short of any of these 3 factors then it is worth reading this article.
Most couples fight. And no, it is not healthy for a relationship
to fight (nor is it healthy to ignore problems in your marriage).
I need to define “fight.” Fighting is not the same as arguing
your point or disagreeing on a matter. You can argue or disagree
without losing your temper or fighting. It becomes a fight when
either tempers flare or one person intentionally tries to hurt the
other, usually emotionally.
But the fight itself is not usually what is the most damaging to
a relationship. Like a wound that is not properly cleaned and
bandaged, injuries from a fight, if left uncared for can become
infected and even have the potential to kill a relationship.
You have probably heard of cases where men or women had a simple
infection that they ignored that eventually caused them to have a
foot, leg or arm amputated. Ignoring the wounds from a fight can
have devastating results.
If you and your partner have had a fight, here are some ways you can
“clean and bandage” the wounds so that healing will take place:
It takes two to fight. So if you have any injuries you are
partly to blame. There are rarely “innocent” victims. Admit the
role you played. Try to be the first to say “I'm sorry” for your
part in the fight, either provoking it or responding to it.
Deal with the wound as soon as is possible (before you go to
bed). The longer you let an injury remain wide open, the greater
the chances of the hurt becoming infected and the more pronounced
the scar will become.
Create a peace treaty. Really. Write down promises you can make
to each other so this same issue will not result in another fight.
Don't fixate on the ugly wound. Focus on (write down if possible)
the wonderful qualities of your mate. It is easier to forgive
those you think highly of.
Actively love the person you just fought with, even if it is
the last thing you want to do. Write love notes, slow dance, make
passionate love, etc. Love is a wonderful ointment that speeds up
the healing process.
Pray (together if at all possible) about the situation. Ask God
to heal you of your imperfections and to heal the pain you have
caused. Don't ask God to “fix” the other person.
Once you have cleaned and bandaged a wound, forget about it.
Don't be tempted to keeping peeking at the injury – it will only
slow down the healing.